Geek is Sexy!

Daniel had his 15 month check up yesterday and it went as well as could be expected when you have shots. He was 23 pounds (50%) and 32.5 inches tall (90%). So he's tall and skinny. Apparently he's the height of an average 19 month old. Too funny. Anyway, the doctor said he was developing well physically and VERY well developmentally. He is using signs and language to communicate and is pointing to what he wants, which she said is huge. Also, looking people in the eyes and engaging with them...he was actually flirting with the doctor...is a really good developmental indicator.

He could have gotten any of the four shots he was due for, but as I only ever do two we had to discuss the pros and cons of what to do now and what to do at 18 months. I knew I absolutely wanted him to have the flu shot now and I knew the HiB could wait since he's already had a few doses of that so it was really down to Chicken Pox and the MMR. I worried about exposure to both with Joey starting school soon and bringing home germs. I was nervous about the MMR but Dr. Chamberlain took the time to talk with me about my worries and the various implications of each shot. She talked about preservatives and antigens and the various theories about shots and complications and how developmental stages coincide with various shots, etc. She also talked about Daniel's health and how it related to getting each of the diseases we were considering vaccinating.

Such as, Daniel is a healthy kid and he would probably handle chicken pox fine if he did end up exposed to it. Flu is questionable at his age and could potentially be made worse if compounded by an outbreak of swine flu. No, this shot won't protect against swine flu but it could help prevent against compromising his system with the regular flu and then picking up the other. Plus, 36,000 people die every year from the regular flu, which the media seems to ignore. Measles is much more dangerous, and as she put it "Loudoun County is an outbreak waiting to happen." I knew that, but it was interesting to hear her confirm it. It's a combo of a high immigrant population, foreign adoptions, and lots of people who choose not to vaccinate. Apparently the "herd immunity" in this area is dipping pretty low, which makes us ripe for a measles outbreak. So I decided to get him the MMR and flu and put the HiB and Chicken Pox off until 18 months. I felt pretty good about it, although I worried about Daniel getting sick and cranky over the weekend. Oh, and he also had a finger prick to test for anemia, which is apparently a big problem for toddlers. He passed just fine. So he was pretty pissed with all the pricking when we left. I had given him some tylenol before we left and he did okay. He was kind of cranky in the afternoon but slept fine last night and has been his happy self all day today.

We also talked about weaning Daniel off the Pepcid we've had him on for reflux. If we can't get him off it by 18 months she wants him to see a GI doctor to make sure he doesn't have damage to his esophagus or something more serious causing symptoms. She told us to pick a calm week when he isn't teething and doesn't have a lot going on, take him off the pepcid, and make sure he eats mostly bland foods. No citrus, dairy, chocolate or spicy foods. If he handles it okay, we can stop giving him the pepcid and see how each food group sets him off.

So all in all my big boy is doing really well. Well, duh. :-D

Daniel had his 12 month doctor appt today and it went really well. Here are his stats:

22 lbs - 40%
31 inches - 75%

So he's a skinny minnie. The doctor watched him run around the office though and said he's much more active than most kids his age so even though he eats well, he's burning a lot of it. She said not to worry about it as long as he keeps a healthy appetite. She said also not to worry too much about his sleeping patterns, because he'll outgrow it. Children like him with what she called the "stubborn engineer" personality type need to feel in control of their situations and sometimes have more anxiety when they feel insecure. It's funny how different my boys are. Joey is the loving nurturer and Daniel is like the Type A CEO. She said she wouldn't be surprised if in a few years Daniel tries to dominate his big brother. But anyway, she said not to let him cry it out because that method in his personality wouldn't work (his stubbornness won't let him give in) and would make him more anxious and less trusting of us. She said to just let him fall asleep with us or however works for him and then put him back in his own bed when he does. He'll start being okay with his crib the more he wakes up in it. As she said, he'll grow out of it eventually, he won't be sleeping with you when he's a teenager. LOL.

As for vaccines, he got the last of the DTaP and Prevnar today. We are waiting for either his 15 or 18 mo visit to do the MMR and Chicken Pox as they are live vaccines and harder on the system. Since he's at home with me, he could potentially wait until age 2 to have them but it's not likely right now because of the resurgence of MMR. It's safer to give it than to wait and have him be exposed. Whether he gets it at 15 or 18 months will depend on the outbreak conditions in VA around that time.

Why is it that when something is wrong with you, you have to pay through the nose to see someone who is going to diagnose you through process of elimination? Aren't we more advanced than that? "I think you have a muscle spasm...no? Okay, I think you have a sinus infection...no? Okay, how about a broad spectrum antibiotic?...no? Okay, try physical therapy..." WTF? I've had this headache and stiff neck/neck pain on the left side of my head for two weeks now. I've been to the doctor twice and been on muscle relaxers, ibuprofen, nasal spray, decongestants...and no success. I called the doctor back today and she is calling in a refill on the muscle relaxers and an antibiotic in case it is a sinus infection. If none of that works, she wants me to go to physical therapy...which to me sounds like code for "I can't figure out what's wrong with you so I'm going to pass the buck to someone else." I think I'm going to try seeing a chiropractor. I always swore that they were quacks, but I'm willing to try anything at this point. I still think it's probably a pinched nerve or my neck is out of alignment or something. I just know it's constant pain and makes trying to lie down to sleep really uncomfortable. Medicine sometimes really sucks.

Doctor's office co-pay: $20
Muscle relaxers: $10
Having to explain what you and your husband were doing when the neck pain started: Priceless

So I started having neck pain on the left side of my neck and base of my skull on Monday night. It was just annoying at that point but has gradually gotten worse. Last night and this morning it was so bad it felt like someone was stabbing me in the neck. The pain was so bad I was nauseous and seeing floaters. I wanted to kill Patrick because he thought I was being pathetic. "It can't be that bad." How the hell would you know? Are you me? That kind of thing has always annoyed me. My mom did it too. It's why I always give Joey the benefit of the doubt when he says something hurts (unless I've seen what he did and know he's faking). No one can gauge someone else's level pain because everyone has a different pain threshold. Something that might mildly bother one person could be excruciating to someone else. And personally, I think no man should say a word about a woman's pain tolerance until they've been through labor. If I say something hurts, it freaking hurts, okay?

Anyway, bitching aside...I finally decided I couldn't take it anymore and decided to call a doctor. I haven't had a primary care physician since before I got pregnant with Daniel, so I looked up one on the website for our new insurance company. I picked one close to me and called, not really expecting much. I called at 8:30 when they opened and they said they could see me at 9:15. I wanted to cry I was so grateful. The doctor and office staff at Potomac Family Practice were wonderful. I was so glad I picked them. I'll see them again from now on (other than my girlie appts, which will still be Dr. Tudder). The doctor said it's a muscle spasm that just isn't releasing. She prescribed muscle relaxer and ibuprofen, but I can't take the relaxers until Patrick gets home in case it knocks me out so he can take care of Daniel. I've also got a heating pad around my neck, which helps slightly. Just knowing relief is coming later helps. See honey, all doctors aren't idiots.

I had another of my weekly checks today. Still no dilating, but he said that I was "softening up very nicely"...whatever that means. I have another check on Wednesday and then he'll decide whether or not to push back the induction. He must be optimistic though because he told me who was on-call this weekend and had my chart sent to L&D. So I really don't know.

He did tell me to stop working as of tomorrow. The baby's head is right on my cervix and it's causing a lot of pain to walk around. He also said I'm already a high risk for post-partum depression, so continuing to work and getting more and more exhausted and in pain will greatly up that risk. He said to chill out at home, not walk too much, and try to relax and get in a totally different frame of mind so that I'm physically and mentally ready for this kid to come out. He said that, believe it or not, a mother not being emotionally ready can actually delay the onset of labor. I thought that sounded hinky, but I just googled it and apparently it's true.

He sort of damped my serious annoyance at the fact that my appointment was at 10:40 and I wasn't seen until noon. I was livid. It would have been nice if someone had called me to say they were running behind so I didn't have to sit there and wait. Thank goodness I take a book with me everywhere.

I saw my doctor today and he's concerned about preterm labor. I've been having a lot of sporadic contractions and combined with the low weight gain, high fluid levels, obvious exhaustion and everything else he thinks I'm at risk. He gave me prometrium to take for the next week that will help relax the uterus and then we'll see what happens. I'm really nervous about taking it. It seems to be used a lot in the first trimester to prevent miscarriage but I can't find anything on it in the third trimester. It seems like every single drug says it will either kill or seriously injure your baby. I don't know how much is real and how much is legalese to cover butts.

My weight right now should be around 171 pounds. Today it was 159. ARGH! I can't possibly eat anymore than I already am! Well, I could, but I'd probably make myself puke by stuffing myself.

On the positive side, I'm reading The Jane Austen Book Club and loving it. I'm only a few chapters in but I'm already caught up in it. I love books like that. I think it's a book Jane would like. It's very much her style. I'm going to see the movie after I finish reading it.

I had my 6-month check today (I'm actually 23 weeks, but close enough). The doctor is worried about my stress levels. Between work, my parents, my husband, my retarded ex-husband and his sanctimonious wife, etc etc I've got too much going on emotionally and it's wearing me down. He prescribed me some Zoloft, so I'm hoping it works. He thinks I have a pretty decent case of depression considering I'm always tired but not sleeping well, have no appetite, and don't feel like doing anything. He feels like we need to stamp this out now so I don't wind up getting really bad post-partum. He also says I have to slow down, try to get some more rest, and "tell everyone to take their drama somewhere else." I love my doctor. He's so supportive and never talks down to me.

He is also slightly concerned about the lack of weight gain, but the baby is growing okay so it's not a big problem yet. He would just like me to try to snack a bit more (on good stuff of course) and stop skipping breakfast. I'll work on it. I mean how often do we get told we need to GAIN weight?

I told Mom about the doctor putting me on Zoloft and of course she starts going off about that. She's so old-school about some things. Mental health issues don't need medication, you just need to get over it. She's the kind that doesn't believe in depression or eating disorders or any of that. So she starts saying I should just go see my priest and not take medication because "god only knows what effect that will have on the baby. They say these things are safe, but they probably aren't." Gee, thanks Mom. You are really helping the situation when you tell me what I'm doing wrong every time I talk to you.

On the plus side, the baby is doing well. His heart rate is good, he's very active and he's growing very well. I go back in two weeks for a follow-up on the same day I have my next sonogram (to monitor the whole venous lakes issue).

I love my OB. I can even ignore the fact that I always wait an incredibly long time at his Reston office because they are always behind. All of the staff are fantastic and he's funny and very good at calming me down. I had a check up today and I'd been nervous because I've had a good bit of crampiness lately, but he explained everything in a way that makes perfect sense. Hormones seriously screw with the digestive tract and most of the pain I've been feeling is gastrointestinal and the rest is the uterus growing. He said he could feel it quite clearly and that it's right on schedule.

Then he listened for Peanut's heartbeat. I was getting nervous because he was rolling around in the middle and not finding anything. Then I told him to try on the right, which is where I've been swearing up and down I could feel movement lately. He did, and BINGO, the heartbeat popped right up nice and strong. It made me feel a million times better to hear that.

He did nag me a little about my weight since I dropped another five pounds since last time. He said it's not a big deal, but I should try to eat more frequently. He said three meals a day won't cut it any more and I need to be snacking every few hours. Apparently my appetite will come back soon.

All in all, a good morning. I always feel great when things go well.

The tests yesterday went about as well as could be expected. I got my boobs smashed to bits by various machines, but it turns out that the lump had dissolved itself so no biopsy was necessary. Great news. They are still a bit sore today though.

The colposcopy was not fun. She spent about 20 minutes talking with me about all sorts of things and what it boils down to is that I have high risk conditions for cervical cancer, so I have to go for paps every six months for the next two years and if they all come back normal then I can go back to the once a year dealie. It's a little scary to hear someone say that somewhere down the road I could develop it, but if they stay on top of it then it's treatable. If cervical cancer is detected early, it can be treated without impairing fertility, if it reaches stage 1A then they have to do a hysterectomy. So better safe than sorry I guess because I would be devastated if it happened before I had more kids. I think this is why I completely freaked out when the subject of waiting a good while for kids came up. Ever since I had Joey I've been afraid I won't be able to have any more. I know that sounds crazy, but it's just the feeling that I've had and I can't shake it. Any time I mention it, people pooh-pooh the idea..."oh you're young, you'll be fine." Well theren't aren't any guarantees. It never really mattered before, because I was fine with just Joey, but now it's really important to me. I want children with Patrick.

The screening definitely wasn't pleasant. I won't go into detail but suffice it to say that being wrenched open and covered with acid doesn't feel nice. At any rate, whatever had caused the abnormal smear was gone and things looked okay so I go back in 4-6 months for a repeat. I was in some serious pain yesterday afternoon and evening, but I'm fine now.

So, much relief tempered by the sobering realization of my own mortality. Not a fun concept to deal with at 26.

mood | Scared and Relieved