Geek is Sexy!

So my biggest baby is seven today. That really knocks me back. I can't believe he's that old. I still remember when he was Daniel's size and climbing all over me. Now he's actually READING his birthday cards. *sigh* I took him and Daniel to Chuck E Cheese to play today. Mom and Muffin met us there and a wonderful time was had by all...particularly Daniel. Mom and Muffin finally got to see his temper. He pitched a fit when they took him off the merry-go-round when his turn was over.

In medical news, I'm going to appeal a bill I got related to my colposcopy. The procedure in the office was fully covered, less the copay, but the lab work I got billed for because the doctor's office sent it out because they don't have the ability to process it in house. That's BS. I had no choice in where it was sent to, nor was I ever informed that I could be billed for them sending it out. Bogus. The worst that will happen is that they'll reject the appeal and I'll have to pay it. It's really the principle of the thing for me.

I think I'm going to try to see a psych relatively soon. My panic attacks have been massively ramping up lately to the point where I'm having one every night. Last night my leg hurt so badly I was convinced I had Deep Vein Thrombosis and I was going to have a heart attack and die. In the light of day I know how stupid that sounds, but in the midst of an attack you are absolutely convinced that's what happening. Usually it's chest pain and trouble breathing, but it's a chicken and egg situation for me because I'm never really sure if the pain is causing the attack or the attack is causing the pain. The visits are covered by our insurance, so there's no reason to suffer needlessly, other than the stigma of it. Mom thinks all psychotherapy-related stuff is bogus and you should just be able to will or pray your way out of it and Patrick rolls his eyes when I talk about the panic attacks, but if you've never had one, you have no idea how frightening and debilitating they are. I really don't want to do Paxil again like I did when I was 20, but maybe there's some techniques that might work or something. Anyway...that's about it.

Mom invited me and the kids to come down to the Outer Banks with her and my sister during the last week of August. They have two weeks down there, but my Dad and Will are going home at the end of the first week. I'm going to drive down with the kids on Sunday afternoon and stay until Wednesday. It will be a long drive with the kids, but I think it will be worth it for some girl time. Patrick took off when we moved so he has to work, but he's not really a beach person anyway so he's not really missing much. We tend to go out and stay on the beach ALL day. I'm really looking forward to it!

Daniel is really becoming his own little person lately. He's getting better at expressing what he wants. He'll point to things and sign "please" and "more" when he wants something and turns us around by our legs when he wants our attention. It's weird to see it happening. He's really more toddler than baby now, and it makes me kind of sad. My baby is growing up! We've been working on body parts and animal sounds, which has had mixed results. He knows kitty cat says "meow" but that's about it so far. He also can point to his nose and mouth, but eyes, ears and hair he just grins at me. Lately he's been entertained by the weirdest stuff. Yesterday it was three little plastic bowls that he would sit and put things in or stack or throw...and today it's a plastic chinese food fork. He's been wandering around with it for an hour, happy as a lark. I don't really get it, but whatever makes him happy, right?

It is, however, incredibly obnoxious what a daddy's boy he is. He's fine when he's alone with me, but if Daddy is around...forget it. He wants NOTHING to do with me. He's even pushed me away and started hollering and clinging to his Daddy when I try to pick him up or Patrick tries to leave. I suppose it's just a new experience for me, since Joey has always been SO attached to me. I guess my ego just figured that there's no way one of my children could prefer Daddy. I'm honestly glad Patrick is so good with the kids and that they love him, but it still hurts when I spend all my time with them and take care of them and Daddy is like Santa and Jesus all rolled into one.

I really loved Fourth of July in my new town. They really have such a sense of community here and it's awesome. They had a parade in the morning down Main Street from the elementary school to the high school. We walked over with the kids and found a spot. Patrick and Joey walked across the street to get Slurpees and we hung out slurping (including Daniel, who stole my slurpee and apparently knows how to use a straw) while we waited for the parade to make its way to us. The streets were lined with people (and BTW, I don't think I've ever seen such a vanilla town. Wow.), lots of families with young kids. The parade was NEVER ENDING. It was literally an hour long parade. I took pictures, but eventually got tired of snapping because it was so long. I need to get around to uploading them to my computer. Joey and Daniel seemed to like the parade...although I think Daniel got tired of the sirens and we had to cover his ears. They even had a cannon at the end that fired off periodically as it rolled down the street. Very cool.

In the evening, the local park had live music, food and fireworks. Mike and Jenny came over for dinner and then all of us went to the park to watch the fireworks. It was a great display, probably about 30 minutes of awesome fireworks accompanied by a live band playing John Phillip Sousa marches. Daniel loved the fireworks. He sat there attentively watching them and occasionally pointing at them, like "look at that, Momma!"

I got a little emotional thinking about new traditions with the kids. Twenty years from now, I want them to remember how we'd always go to the parade and the fireworks on the fourth. I know it's a little silly, but I love seeing my boys enjoying new things and doing this kind of stuff as a family. I'm really liking living in a small town. I like being able to walk down the street to my aunt's house, and I'm looking forward to becoming a regular at some of the local places. It's really neat here.

I was going to make a real post about the beach and the Fourth of July, but I'm busy trying not to lie on the floor crying. Freaking Aunt Flo.

I'm still alive. The internet has been down for some random reason since Monday. We've been trying to fix it, but of course as soon as we stopped trying it started working again. Whatever. I've been out at the new house most of the time anyway. I leave in the morning after I get the kids up and dressed and fed, paint all day, and then then come home around 8ish. Patrick goes up there after work and stays until midnight and then comes home. Between us and my Mom (who has been out helping me EVERY day) we may actually get done before Saturday. Hooray. I'm going to pass out now.

We go to settlement today...hopefully. We got a call last night that it might not happen because the selling bank doesn't have all its paperwork done. If that happens I might seriously kill someone because we are supposed to be painting all weekend. So crossed fingers!

I made a few changes to my page...let me know what you think. I love the header.

Is this the end of the moment
Or just a beautiful unfolding
Of a love that will never be?
Or maybe be
Everything that I never thought could happen
Or ever come to pass and
I wonder
If maybe
Maybe I could be
All you ever dreamed, cause you are

Beautiful inside
So lovely and I
Cant see why I'd do anything without you, you are
And when I'm not with you
I know that it's true
That I'd rather be anywhere but here without you

Is this a natural feeling
Or is it just me bleeding
All my thoughts and dreams
In hope that you will be with me or
Is this a moment to remember
Or just a cold day in December?
I wonder
If maybe
Maybe I could be
All you ever dreamed, cause you are

Beautiful inside
So lovely and I
Can't see why I'd do anything without you, you are
And when I'm not with you
I know that it's true
That I'd rather be anywhere but here without you

-Safetysuit, Anywhere But Here

Virtual human development game



www.human-age.com

I'm playing Human Age again and I'm broke, hence the ad. It's actually more fun this time around. I quit pretty much right away last time I tried playing it. If anyone wants to sign up, add me as a sponsor or friend, pretty please!

Swine Flu Pandemic Has Begun

Okay, I may be really, really off base here but I kind of feel like people are just causing massive panic with this Swine Flu thing. So far, from the stats in this article, the worldwide fatality rate for Swine Flu is .5% of those infected. Yes, that's less than 1%. Ordinary flu kills about 250,000 to 500,000 people each year out of millions infected. So why are they so ready to call this a pandemic? 29 thousand people (144 deaths) is a pandemic but millions every year is not?

I'm not trying to downplay the potential severity of the problem, but causing a panic is not going to help anyone. Scientists are already working on a vaccine that should be out in September, in time for flu season. As this article says:

"Fear has already gripped Argentina, where thousands of people worried about swine flu flooded into hospitals this week, bringing emergency health services in the capital of Buenos Aires to the brink of collapse. Last month, a bus arriving in Argentina from Chile was stoned by people who thought a passenger on it had swine flu. In Hong Kong on Thursday, the government ordered all kindergartens and primary schools closed for two weeks after a dozen students tested positive for swine flu — a move that some flu experts would consider an overreaction."

This is one year when I will definitely be getting myself vaccinated along with the kids, especially with Joey's vomiting issues. Yes, it does scare me that the people that have died are mostly children and young people but causing panic on a global level just isn't productive.

I'm so excited to see this movie...but the trailer annoyed me a little. It totally shows a major plot point at the end...way to spoil it movie people!

Patrick: I swear to God the world would go so much better if everyone would just do things the way I say.

For weeks I have been working with Daniel, trying to get him to color with markers or crayons, or at least to realize he can manipulate them to make marks. Alas, it has been to no avail. He's had absolutely no interest in doing anything with them other than eating them. Well...today I was on the computer doing some freecycle stuff and Daniel was sitting in the corner playing quietly. I couldn't see what he was doing but I could tell he wasn't putting anything in his mouth so I figured he would be okay for a few minutes. When I finished and went over to get him, he was sitting there with one of Joey's markers, coloring all over pictures Mom had printed me yesterday from his birthday. He had found the pictures and one of Joey's (washable, thank goodness) markers on the end table and somehow gotten the cap off and colored the pictures without getting any on anything but the pictures and his hands. I couldn't get too mad at him because he was doing what I have been trying to get him to do...just not the right way. *sigh* I'll have to reprint the pictures.

Photos from Daniel's first birthday, Elizabeth's visit and birthday party.

Daniel's 1st Birthday

Elizabeth is here! Let the wild rumpus start!

Daniel had his 12 month doctor appt today and it went really well. Here are his stats:

22 lbs - 40%
31 inches - 75%

So he's a skinny minnie. The doctor watched him run around the office though and said he's much more active than most kids his age so even though he eats well, he's burning a lot of it. She said not to worry about it as long as he keeps a healthy appetite. She said also not to worry too much about his sleeping patterns, because he'll outgrow it. Children like him with what she called the "stubborn engineer" personality type need to feel in control of their situations and sometimes have more anxiety when they feel insecure. It's funny how different my boys are. Joey is the loving nurturer and Daniel is like the Type A CEO. She said she wouldn't be surprised if in a few years Daniel tries to dominate his big brother. But anyway, she said not to let him cry it out because that method in his personality wouldn't work (his stubbornness won't let him give in) and would make him more anxious and less trusting of us. She said to just let him fall asleep with us or however works for him and then put him back in his own bed when he does. He'll start being okay with his crib the more he wakes up in it. As she said, he'll grow out of it eventually, he won't be sleeping with you when he's a teenager. LOL.

As for vaccines, he got the last of the DTaP and Prevnar today. We are waiting for either his 15 or 18 mo visit to do the MMR and Chicken Pox as they are live vaccines and harder on the system. Since he's at home with me, he could potentially wait until age 2 to have them but it's not likely right now because of the resurgence of MMR. It's safer to give it than to wait and have him be exposed. Whether he gets it at 15 or 18 months will depend on the outbreak conditions in VA around that time.

Happy Birthday paradox528! You are my chick forever!

My baby is having his first birthday today! *sniff* I love you baby!

The other day I finally got around to picking up Dead Until Dark, the first book in the Sookie Stackhouse series about southern vampires. It's pretty good, so I think I've got a new series to read! I'm also watching Season 1 of True Blood (based on the books). Fortunately I have HBO On Demand so I don't have to go find it on DVD. I'm hoping to catch up before Season 2 begins in a few weeks. It's a really fascinating premise - vampires integrating as part of society - and what I've seen of the series so far has been pretty cool.